Author: Menaka Sangwan

She used to be an overthinker, but now she channels her thoughts into writing instead of getting caught up in excessive rumination.

Disclaimer: Someone asked why I don't write much on the site anymore, well.. hey, here’s your response.

I write when my heart is full of emotions

i write when i don’t feel good

i write when my mind freezes

i write when everything feels like its going in the wrong direction

i write when i have no one to express myself to

i write when something feels off

i write when i see the unspoken emotions of others

i write when my mind and brain are not in sync

i write when i have nothing to work on

i write when i feel bored

i write when i want something, but I can’t quite see what it is

i write when all things are trapped inside my mind and heart

i write when i miss myself

i write when there is scarcity

i write when i have no words to write, only feelings to think about

i write when i observe but pretend i haven’t

i write when something is missing

i write when i feel lonely

i write when words seem useless to me

i write when i feel nervous

i write when my mind doesn’t know what to write about

i write when the world makes no sense to me

i write when someone overlooks me

i write to make myself heard, seen, understood, clear my mind and feel better.

Nowadays i don’t write much because the spaces that once made me write are filled

and that’s a good thing, i think.

One filled the gap..

Menaka Sangwan

  1. Celebration with friends.
  2. Practicing yoga.
  3. Being before time.
  4. When visited alone to passport office.
  5. Purchased pizza for myself first time ever, Having pizza with cold coffee after successful submitted application.
  6. Applying nail paint art, it’s an art 6 Feb.
  7. Completed the alchemist book.
  8. Buying MacBook.
  9. Knowing your power i.e. smart.
  10. Reading the books….
  11. Finally, finally, finally, started gym (procrastination, b-bye!!)
  12. Living in my cute own world.
  13. Getting gifts for no reason.
  14. Buying 4 wheeler, from last 2 years, I have it in my TO-DO list.
  15. Spending time leisurely with my favorite people.
  16. December comes with lot of great surprises and meeting MY new favorite person.
  17. Officially, can visit places, because I have got passport (yayyyy!!!).
  18. Sorry to bother, but one more is officially, got flowers and chocolate, OMG..
  19. Lot of impulsive buying, but they are of great worth🔥.
  20. DLF.
  21. Take away, introduced with culture of take aways.
  22. Collecting receipts, wrappers, petals.
  23. Continuously, for over a week, not sleeping till 5AM (M! seriously it’s you? Can’t believe, who can’t live without 9 hr sleep).
  24. Eating in four wheeler.
  25. Visited conference and received techie things.
  26. Watching movies in theatre (what!!).
  27. Holding hands and loving MY favorite people.
  28. Seeing retirement phase, chaos and excitement simultaneously.
  29. Spending time with family and having the breakfast, lunch and dinner together including snacks.
  30. Giving and receiving love.
  31. Being so busy with stuff that you don’t have time to process anything (feels good for short duration).
  32. INCIDENT happens.
  33. AirPods.
  34. Able to talk while using AirPods (achievement for me..).
  35. Reading on kindle while light is off.
  36. Scrabbling in my diary and jotting down the messed thoughts.
  37. Pasting the restaurant bills in diary.
  38. Being with self.
  39. Clean surroundings to clear mind.
  40. Purchased some girlie stuff.
  41. Having dosa with OG!!
  42. Sundar Nursery.
  43. I think and purchase long long before actual doing of stuff.
  44. Watching creative podcast, it’s time very well spent.
  45. Started having interest in food making process (Ahhh, awwww, kyun, kab and kaise).
  46. Having dinner with Daddy.
  47. Evening long talk with family (sort of chai-pe-charcha).
  48. Seeing daddy completing his tenure.
  49. Last year favourites updated successfully.
  50. Obsessed and addicted to my favourite.
  51. Thinking.

Way to 75 but couldn’t, it’s ok

Menaka Sangwan

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and truly an imagination of the mind. Resemblance to any situation is a coincidence.

I asked, he delivered

Is he a delivery boy?

I dream, he strives to achieve

Is he an achiever?

I think about something, he does everything

Is he a doer?

I point at something, and he jumps right in

Is he a go-getter?

I am an anxious person, he calms me with his sweet voice

Is he my anchor?

I have an OCD, he set things right for me

Is he a meticulous?

I demand things, he delivers everything

Is he my delivery man?

I want to go outside, he drives me everywhere

Is he my chauffeur?

I see a rose, he grows me a garden

Is he my gardener?

I want him, he behaves as if I already have him

Is he my man?

He is none of the those things but tries to be everything just for me.

I think he is my one but he is my everything.

..

Menaka Sangwan

Few years ago, I started a thing with full of dreams and ambitions.

WORKED HARD FOR THAT.

One day sudden bolt of thunder happens and I decided to QUIT. I usually don’t quit easily but IT’S JUST A MOMENT when you know, it’s the time.

A short story it seems but let me finish…

Before reaching at conclusion, I have made a list of pros and cons multiple times and try to arrive at middle path (basic method taught in elementary). Quitting doesn’t happen a single day, there is repetitive thought making round in mind that something is not going in the direction that you want it to go.

After multiple rounds of self reflection and simultaneously working for the thing, there is some lacking, you feel in the heart. From “Day One” you reach to the “One Day”, the day you finally decided because you can’t do that thing anymore and exhausted in the process.

After quitting the thing, still little spark of that ambition lights up when I look at that thing and the progress that it can provide. Now I have come to terms with this situation. Still some days I sit in my room and think if it’s the right decision that I have made. The only answer comes from my inner is “a YES”, I feel free of some burden which is upon me for so many years.

Definitely quitting is not easy especially it’s a thing you have dreamt for many years but it’s the path that you have to cross to reach where you truly want to be. There is a beautiful world on other side of that thing waiting to welcome us with wide open arms.

DREAMING is unstoppable but some things are.

Light and elated.

It’s ok to know when to stop

Menaka Sangwan

A very small snippet from a random evening from June 2025

A Friday evening, just after my office, I went to a stationery shop (my recent favourite place to be at). Bought myself some stuff to be used for my creative area. It gives you an another type of satisfaction after buying stationery stuff.

After my purchase, I thought of having dinner at that place. So, I thought of moving to Haldiram’s and get me my dinner and read my current e-book Bird by Bird by Ann Lamott. And there I saw two families, some sort of formal meeting it feels in beginning. Later, I have realised that they are there for some arrange marriage meeting thing. After seeing the families, I can’t focus on reading and start observing the hope so couple-to-be. They both are blushing, just like that first time teenage love. The two young one’s are communicating about their jobs (this is only I can overheard).

Sooner, matchmaking thing mixed with the random chaos of the place and it became part of the noise to me.

I finished my dinner along with read on kindle and then wrapped up my evening.

EveningOutHappinessIn

Menaka Sangwan

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